LAURA ADDERLEY

Mental illness doesn't define who you are but it certainly makes you work at creating YOU.

I've been on a journey for mental health my whole life. I've gotten knocked down and then back up. I've done the work. I have good days and bad. The journey continues - thanks for coming along with me!

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Be Unapologetically Yourself: My Solitary New Year’s Resolution

A therapist of mine used the phrase “be unapologetically yourself” one day, and it truly changed my view of myself. That phrase does NOT mean you have carte blanche to do whatever your heart’s desire – what it does mean is that you should be true to yourself, and so long as you aren’t hurting anyone, you should live your best, authentic life. That is my 2026 intention. Now, if you’ve been following this blog for a while (thank you!!), you know that I do not make resolutions.

Jan 72 min read

Signs of Suicidality

While people are often genuinely surprised that someone they know has committed suicide, there are actually very often signs that someone is entertaining (or has committed to) suicidal behavior/actions. In the sense that we are all our brother’s keeper, we are all called on and tasked with protecting each other, not the least of which is when our loved one (or even a mere acquaintance) shares their suicidal thinking or behavior with us. It is important to note that most often

Dec 10, 20254 min read

Your Diagnosis

So, you’ve gotten a mental health diagnosis. Stop. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Your diagnosis is not the end – it’s not even the beginning of the end. What you may not realize is that your mental health treater needs to put a label on your condition to bill insurance. The best mental health professionals I have worked with have been careful to point out that they treat my symptoms, not my diagnoses. To them, a diagnosis is not what is important – what IS important is

Nov 18, 20253 min read

Hope & Suicidality

Hope and suicidality make strange bedfellows. Why? Because hope is the ultimate antidote to suicidality. They coexist for so many people, people who struggle with suicidality yet hold onto at least a kernel of hope close to their hearts. It’s this kernel of hope that I urge you to hang onto for dear life (pun intended – battling the Beast that is suicidality sometimes calls for, perhaps perversely, a sense of gallows humor). I’ve waxed philosophical on hope before – maybe I’m

Nov 11, 20253 min read

The Ripple Effect

Does suicide have a deleterious effect on communities? Turns out, suicide has a major negative impact on communities, from schools to houses of worship to families to neighborhoods to athletic teams – I could go on, but I think you get the point. Suicide is the antithesis of the innate drive each and every person has to survive. Suicide scares the shit out of people, plain and simple, because it makes people dwell on their own fear of the end of their life. It may surprise yo

Oct 23, 20253 min read

When Things Go South

With mental illness, things can be very mercurial – things can be going relatively well and then tank seemingly overnight. This begs the...

Sep 9, 20253 min read

Small Wins or Big Wins?

I wrote recently that I went to a horse show and competed against a bunch of tots on ponies – and got smoked by said tots and ponies in...

Aug 15, 20252 min read

Don’t Press Your Luck

I firmly believe that – in almost every situation – we make our own luck. I know people won’t agree with me, those people who believe...

Jul 23, 20253 min read

Defining success

So, I’m at a horse show, watching other people show at the height I used to compete at, and wondering what, exactly, defines success?...

Jul 15, 20254 min read

An Apple a Day

So many people with mental illness find themselves at a crossroads: stay on their meds and continue to feel numb, asexual, and...

Jun 1, 20253 min read

Be Your Own Advocate

As a lawyer, I know a thing or two about advocating. The most important lesson I have learned, however, is not how to advocate for a...

Apr 18, 20253 min read

I Have a Mental Illness

Yes, I have a mental illness (well, several, to be honest). Those might very well be the five scariest words you’ve ever admitted to – I...

Mar 30, 20253 min read

Severe and Persistent Mental Illness (SPMI)

What does it mean to have an SPMI? Oh, what’s that you ask? An SPMI is shorthand for Severe and Persistent Mental Illness. We are the ill...

Mar 7, 20253 min read

Mental Health Treatment Part IV: Hospitalization

Before I completely scare you to pieces, mental hospitalization no longer resembles a scene out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest or...

Jan 15, 20255 min read

Mental Health Treatment Part III: Psychedelic Drugs

Now, this will probably seem improbable in a world where drug experimentation is de rigueur among adolescents and collegiates, but I have...

Jan 3, 20254 min read

Self-Care

Ok – you got me – wtf is self-care, anyway? Is it all about mani/pedis? Massages? Baths? Or is it a whole lot more? (Spoiler: it’s about...

Dec 11, 20242 min read

Treatments for Mental Illness – Part Two: TMS, VNS, Deep Brain Stimulation & ECT

From the first post: People often ask me about what treatments I have received for my mental illness. Good question. First and foremost,...

Nov 26, 20246 min read

Treatments for Mental Illness – Part One: therapy & medication

People often ask me about what treatments I have received for my mental illness. Good question. First and foremost, I have received many...

Nov 21, 20245 min read

Guilt in the Face of Death

Survivor’s guilt: is it real? Is it a big deal? Yes, yes, it is. Why, you ask? Here goes: As I sat in my therapist’s office today,...

Nov 11, 20246 min read

Would I change my illness?

So, occasionally I’m asked if I wish I could go back and not gotten sick in the first place and why I don’t complain about having a...

Oct 21, 20242 min read

ABOUT ME

So, most people start an “About the Author” by dutifully reciting their education credentials. If you're curious about said details, I have an undergraduate degree in English and history as well as a Juris Doctorate, both from the University of Michigan, both in the ’90s.

But the nitty-gritty, important – and dare I say relevant – stats are 100 and 200, 15 and 2.

What??

Let me explain. This blog is (mostly) about suicide resilience, and those numbers mean something to me; they stand for my struggles, my efforts to improve (or at times to salvage) my mental health.

100: The number of times I have been hospitalized.

200: The number of different psychotropic medications I have been prescribed.

15: The number of times I have undergone electroconvulsive therapy sessions (not including the dozens of Transcranial Magnetic Therapy treatments).

2: The number of times I attempted to end my life.

I am no expert in anything but my own experience, and it is my hope that you gain something by reading about my struggles, my failures, and, yes, my successes. Because the Beast that is suicidality must be beaten back, put in its cage – only then can you really start to live.

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