5 Dumbest Things People Have Said to Me about Depression

1.) Just get over it. (Really?! As if I'm a Nike ad!)

2.) You sound better, so you must be doing better.

3.) think yourself happy – it's mind over matter. (um, ok, not how this works.)

4.) I was so depressed that they didn't renew my show on Netflix. (Oh, how I wish there were a different word for everyday, ordinary "depression." It's hugely confusing to those who don't understand clinical depression.)

5.) Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. (I thought this was too cliché to be uttered, but someone actually said it to me!)

6.) I could go on & on & on …

Even the word "depression" sounds heavy, burdensome, and hopeless. For me, the most onerous part of depression is when things start to get better. "WHY??" you ask; that seems like the best part! It would be if only feeling better weren't inextricably intertwined with the question: "When will depression frequent my world again?" I sit in paralyzed fear m the following question: "When will the other shoe drop?"

Does everybody feel like this? Well, no. But the more times that depression comes calling the more apprehensive you may feel in trusting your remission. (Note: I speak in terms of "remission," not "recovery," as I feel that with a diagnosis of a mental illness, your symptoms may go into remission. On the other hand, mental illness is not like cancer – you aren't cured; you just learn to manage your symptoms). Plus, remission is a journey, not a destination.

While some will genuinely go on to lead a symptomless life, mental illness is insidious, and no one is above having their symptoms rear their ugly heads. This is why it is so important to keep abreast of your telltale symptoms – and get help immediately. Do NOT ignore the recurrence of symptoms; depression is a bear, and you don't want to wind up waking up one morning feeling unable to fight off the Beast that is suicidality.

Remember, depression and suicide attempts/completed suicides are all too familiar bedmates. One powerful tool to address one's spiraling down the black hole that is depression is to recruit someone you trust and ask them to tell you when they think you are sliding down the slippery slope that defines depression. This person (or people) must have a thick skin, as you may very well not want to admit your symptoms – depression does its best to conceal its symptoms and isn't a fan of you getting help.

Depression, you could say, is a master manipulator that likes for you to suffer in silence. This is why that person you ask to help you needs to know your outward – and inward – signs of depression. I start canceling on people, I spend too much time at home alone, too much time on the couch binge-watching something mindless, avoiding my 6:30 am workout, and most telling of all, canceling riding lessons and avoiding the barn in general. My horse is arguably the most effective therapy for my depression (and assorted and sundry other mental illnesses).

So, why is depression a topic, you ask? Let's just say that the other shoe dropped a couple of weeks ago, and the Beast is powerfully loud and insistent. My illness and I often resemble a standoff rather than a poetic dance, and thankfully I know how to fight back. I go to those appointments, limit TV, walk my dogs, and go to the barn even if all I do is pet my horse. I spend time with my dogs, get out of the house at least once a day, and have a conversation, even if it's only a two-sentence interaction with the clerk at Walgreens.

Writing this is an excellent reminder to myself not to let the sleepy Beast fully wake. I told my treaters I am struggling - a good place to start. Even though I write a blog about mental illness, I'm not immune to setbacks and bumps in the road that is life with a mental illness. I've learned to be open about my struggles – it has saved me more times than I can count. Even if you are only open to a person or two (not everyone is comfortable writing a blog on mental illness!), it could save your life. And YOU ARE WORTH SAVING.