Connections matter

Connections – it’s almost always about connections. Connections that bind us, free us and help us find our True North. (I believe I’ve waxed philosophical on connections before – yes, they are just that crucially important.)

Connections – it’s about finding that passion. What is your passion, your one true love? F or me, it’s all about the horses. I have ridden since I was seven and have had my own horse since I was twelve; I have had horses for over 35 years now. I own a retired horse who is enjoying retired life at a friend of mine’s farm – he’s about a thousand miles away, but he’s in a more temperate climate and has a girl who adores him, so he’s well-loved and living his best life.

Once I decided that I was going to retire him, my trainer embarked on a campaign to find me a new horse. She had a caveat in her post seeking a “unicorn”— “if you wouldn’t put your nana on it, I don’t need to hear about it.” The horse I wound up with appears to be saintly and sweet, sweet, sweet. My goal this year is to cut our teeth at a handful of local horse shows and see how we develop into a team, with the goal being to go to some larger horse shows.

I’m especially lucky to have two passions: in addition to the horses, I also love to write. In addition to writing my blog, I’m writing a manuscript. Shhh…there’s a secret here: writing about the issues I tackle in my blog and my manuscript probably helps me more than it helps my “target audience.” I at least know that if it is an issue for me, it’s probably an issue for others, too.

Connections – note the importance of personal connections & the art of being understood. I am incredibly lucky – I have a best friend who just gets me. He singlehandedly knows when he should call, when he should text, and when he should leave well-enough alone. I’d like to think I help him, too. He is driven in his work, and I have been urging him to take a vacation since…well…forever. Sooo, we are doing Disney and Universal in a month! (Yes, we’re two big kids!)

Whether you have a best friend, a gaggle of close friends, or a network of acquaintances, your connections with other people (or with animals if you don’t feel safe around people) serve to help you fight the Beast that is suicidality. The people you surround yourself with can see you through your darkest nights. If you don’t have “your people” – don’t give up. Sometimes it feels safer not to rely on other people; sometimes it seems safer simply to only trust yourself. If this is the case, do what you need to battle the Beast, whether that means seeking professional help or checking into a crisis hospital – do whatever you have to in order to keep yourself safe. Going forwards, remember that we’re social creatures, and we do best when connected with others.

Connections – anticipation; having things to look forward to. Sometimes, when I am feeling especially depressed, I will look for what I have to look forward to: riding lessons, personal training, dinner out with friends, horse shows, publishing my latest blog, etc., etc. Anticipation can temporarily increase anxiety, but at the same time, it can also remind us that we are gearing up for something positive and important, too. Remember, the Beast HATES it when we have things to look forward to – in fact, we can’t both eagerly anticipate something and seriously contemplate suicide at the same time. If you’re still able to anticipate something good, you’re one up on the Beast. And if not, this is when you reach out and ask for help, whether you call a friend, or call for help.

Suicide Hotline: 988 or 800-273-8255