Goodnight Moon

Night, night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Sleep is one of my biggest problems, one of the most consistently nefarious issues that I face on a regular basis. It’s right up there with my schizoaffective disorder and PTSD.

WHY do I count sleep problems as being so serious, you ask? This is primarily because a lack of sleep makes everything – including suicidality – exponentially worse. I’ll use myself as an example: when I don’t sleep well for a couple of days, everything gets worse. My hallucinations get worse; my tendency to exhibit symptoms of either depression or mania increases; my hyper-reactivity worsens; and, perhaps most importantly, my suicidal ideation kicks into high gear – even if I’ve had an ostensibly “good” day.

Honestly, a lack of sleep makes all the symptoms I struggle with increase exponentially, and I am not alone. A lack of sleep in someone who doesn’t struggle with mental illness can make them feel depressed, anxious, and jittery. Yet, for those prone to depression, after a few days of bad sleep, downright hopelessness can set in.

There are three categories of problems with sleep:

• Initial Insomnia (you can’t fall asleep)

• Middle Insomnia (you can’t stay asleep)

• Termina Insomnia (you wake up too early & can’t fall back asleep)

As you might expect from me writing this post, I struggle with all three forms of sleep disturbances. **sigh**

If you struggle with the Beast that is suicidality, a lack of sleep can put you in a suicidal tailspin. NOTHING looks “ok” when insomnia is a chronic problem. Candidly, my suicide attempts did – and my general suicidal ideation did and still does become so much worse when I am tired, especially when I am exhausted from bad insomnia.

You need all you can muster to fight the Beast, so do whatever helps you get some shuteye – don’t fail to give yourself a fighting chance against suicidality. Remember, there are ways to combat sleepless nights. Below are some tips I’ve learned along the way known as “sleep hygiene”:

1. Keep your bedroom on the cool side.

2. Make sure you do not have a lot of ambient light (blackout curtains or shades can help, and use a night light that isn’t too bright so you don’t hurt yourself if you get up at night!!).

3. Use your bedroom for sleep and sex only.

4. Do not argue in the bedroom.

5. Do not have a TV in your bedroom.

6. Do not read or eat in your bedroom.

7. Do not eat a large meal or exercise for several hours before going to bed (if you need to eat a small amount to take your meds, that is fine, just don’t eat a meal-sized amount).

8. Go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time (within two hours) EVERY day, INCLUDING the weekend.

9. Do NOT “clock watch” – checking the clock constantly will only make you feel frustrated.

10. If you cannot fall asleep within a guesstimated fifteen or thirty minutes (see number 9), try getting out of bed and engaging in a quiet – hopefully boring – activity until you feel tired.

11. While I find sleeping with my dogs makes me feel safe and secure, make sure if you do co-sleep that your furry friends aren’t keeping you up.

12. Do not drink a lot before going to bed so that you won’t have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

13. Avoid “blue light” – do not use computers, tablets, or your smartphone within an hour of going to bed.

If none of the above help, talk to your psychiatrist or primary care doctor and see if they will prescribe a sleep aid, something you take for a limited time that can get your insomnia under control. You can also take melatonin, so long as your doctor says it’s ok with the other meds you take; it’s a natural sleep aid.

Pretty much, if standing on your head for half an hour puts you to sleep, I’m for it (the main limitation is that you don’t use illicit drugs, alcohol, or put yourself in harm’s way). Remember, the next time the sandman jumps ship, use the tips above to curb the vicious cycle of insomnia. Staying ahead of your suicidality is the best way to win against the Beast.