Ok – you got me – wtf is self-care, anyway? Is it all about mani/pedis? Massages? Baths? Or is it a whole lot more? (Spoiler: it’s about a WHOLE lot more.) I have had a massage virtually every week since I had back surgery in 1996. My surgeon strongly recommended it, and it has been one of the only things that has helped mitigate the constant and unyielding pain I have endured for decades. Are my massages always fun? No, they’re not. Are they worth it? Yes – they help with the pain, so there’s that.
So, here’s what people tend to think about when it comes to self-care: bubble baths, mani/pedis, massages, meals out. They can also avoid going home for the holidays if that’s a toxic environment.
You ask what self-care is. Fair question. For me, seeking self-care is acknowledging the fact that I need “ME” time. What that looks like can change day to day, minute by minute; it’s just super important to remember that “me time” means taking time to prioritize ME. I am not actually a big lover of bubble baths or getting my hair done…rather, I love long walks, playing with my dogs, riding my horse, and watching the sunset from my front steps.
Whatever activities are important to you are likely to be the kind of thing you look forward to doing during your “me time.” Just make sure “me time” is really “me time” and not a chore in disguise. Remember to make time for YOU!!! Self-care can be anything you do for YOU – a day trip, sleeping in, dancing in the rain – anything that prioritizes YOU.
Self-care can also be defined as keeping up with one’s ADLs. ADLs are Activities of Daily Living – bathing, dressing, eating, etc., etc. These are the bare minimum activities one needs to take care of daily. Consistently skipping your ADLs can be a sign of clinical depression. Whatever the reason, failing to keep up with your ALDs is not a good sign. I think of ADLs as the bare minimum of self-care.
Self-care can be something you strive for, or it can be something you expect. It is my hope that self-care is automatic, but I know that’s just simply not the case for many of us. For most, self-care is something to be sought out. Note: if you need to chase after it, make it worth it!
Part of my problem with self-care is that I don’t tend to think I deserve it. Self-care, it should be noted, is not something on an “I-Deserve-It” sliding scale. Everyone deserves self-care, whether that’s making the bed in the morning or getting a massage, or (hopefully) both!
Nine times out of ten, we are our own worst enemy. How about we jump on the “me” bandwagon? It couldn’t hurt to try believing in ourselves! It’s important to define and normalize self-care – and to realize that we all deserve it, in whatever form it means to us.
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