Societal Expectations

So, why do we feel like we have to keep up with the Jones'? Why do we even care what our neighbor is up to? Where does the drive to fit in come from? I would posit that there's likely an evolutionary reason, something along the lines of the act of fitting in being preferable to standing out, which could increase vulnerability to a bad outcome.

I believe that we try to keep up with current societal expectations because of a primal need to fit in socially. These social expectations were once more about fitting in physically, and therefore being prepared to fight physical battles. Today, however, it seems fitting in is mostly about social status, not physical safety.

I've never fit into social groups easily, so "keeping up with the Joneses" has always seemed particularly dubious. I can't stress this enough, but a person can be on top of one situation yet clueless in another - so don't expect people to be at their best across the board! Remember, nobody's perfect!

This may be hard to hear, but fitting in is overrated. While it can be a physical survival mechanism, we aren't exactly in the same danger as our prehistoric ancestors. Socioeconomic fitting in has its own challenges and landmines; however, striving to fit in socially can be an impetus for worsening suicidal ideation. It sure as hell awakens the Beast that is suicidality from its slumber.

Perhaps the most important thing to do is to live inside of your OWN expectations – societal expectations be damned. For example, I believe that my integrity is probably my most valued trait. It guides my compass. I would be devastated if I felt like I'd violated my commitment to live a life of value. (Note: we all make mistakes – I'm talking about major rifts.

Beating back the Beast is our goal, so DO NOT, under any circumstances, give in to the siren song of the Beast. It can be tough to fight the Beast, and it loves people who isolate. Secrecy is your enemy, and your job is to fight it off. So, if you feel suicidal, TELL SOMEONE; don't try to beat the Beast alone just because you are ashamed. If you don't have anyone to talk to, go to a therapist. If you can't afford a therapist, find a (hopefully) local organization that provides free or reduced-cost therapy. And whatever else you do in the meantime, remember, this too shall pass.

Societal expectations can be uncomfortably weighty, and we need to stop, take a breath, and decide for ourselves if said expectations matter to us. I strongly urge you to ask yourself: does this person(s) deserve our attention and self-judgment? Odds are that keeping up with the Jonses is almost always not worth the grief it causes. Remember, don't go it alone; you deserve more; you deserve to live.

So, what about the Jones'?? (Tell 'em to go to hell!)