Support Systems, Part II: Animals and Mental Health Professionals

The third prong of my support system is my animals. I have a total of five – four dogs (Justice and Daisy, the yellow Labrador siblings, Landis the Basset hound, and Sabrina the miniature pinscher), and a horse, Gemstone, aka “Gem."

My animals can each and every one tell you when I’m having a bad day. My Labs, who are Velcro dogs, to begin with, won’t even let me go to the bathroom alone when things are going poorly. All of my animals, canine and equine, seem to have a sixth sense about my struggles with the Beast.

My horse and I have a special, almost entirely unspoken language that enables us to negotiate courses of obstacles that we jump. Clear communication is key to our success and safety, and the bond we’ve forged over the years means that we trust each other implicitly. Could he speak, I would listen to any advice he might give; as it is, he is my sounding board and my shoulder to cry on.

Two of the best things about having an animal in your life (and there are a LOT of reasons) is that they love unconditionally – and they don’t speak. They love us for who we are to them and they can’t give us negative messages to internalize. For a lot of people with trust issues, pets are the safest support system out there, and there’s nothing wrong with that. As I often say, start where you are and build on that.

The fourth prong of my support system is my team of mental health professionals, specifically my therapists and psychiatrists – some of whom I have been working with for more than twenty years. They are acutely able to assess my needs given the situation at hand and how to proceed, including admitting me to the hospital when the Beast is out of control.

They know how to put the Beast in perspective (e.g., reminding me of better times) that I easily lose sight of. They are quick to point out that my illness – including my struggles with the Beast – is the result of a chemical imbalance in my brain that I cannot control. Their reminding me of what my struggles are – and aren’t -- is key in cutting the Beast down to size and calling it out for what it is: a bully.

I put an immense amount of trust in my treatment team, but it wasn’t always that way. I recall not trusting my therapist farther than I could throw her for the first few years. It wasn’t until I attempted suicide on her watch - and realized how much she cared about me - that I started, ever so slowly, to talk about the Beast. Don’t let it get that far.

So, you ask – if I’ve been talking about the Beast to mental health professionals for twenty years and I still struggle, what good are they? The fact that I am still here is a testament to how much they have helped me in my battle. They are the best Beast slayers, bar none, but therapists and doctors can only help as much as we let them; building a trusting relationship with treater(s) is a key step in beating back the Beast.

A fair question might be how can I be so sure of how to deal with the Beast when I haven’t permanently slaughtered it? Because I am able to slaughter it each and every time I put off suicide for another day. I have found within me an “invincible summer” to call upon in my battle with the Beast.

That power exists in each of us – we just need to learn how to harness it. Whether your support system is your friends, your family, your animals, or your mental health professionals – or something entirely different – choose them wisely and let them help you, no matter how independent you are and how foreign seeking and receiving help is for you. Everybody needs a tribe, you and I included.