Who’s In Your Corner

Ok, I’m getting on the bandwagon of having people in your corner again. Why? Because I cannot overemphasize the importance of a support system. And your support system can be human, canine, feline, equine, etc. It isn’t so much how many you have in your pocket but how fully supported you feel overall.

I am lucky; I have a support system with depth. I have three dogs, two horses, a best friend, friends, numerous therapists, two psychiatrists, and family members who all offer support in their own way. I have a village when it comes to a professional support system. I have professional support both in Kansas and Houston, and they are all aware of each other; I am upfront with all of them, and they communicate with one another.

Are they each always supportive in an ideal way? No. A hard “No!” (Yes, not even the professionals always get it right.) I used to think people were dense on purpose; now, I realize that, for most people, suicidality is a very touchy subject. Many cannot relate, whether because it seems absolutely foreign or because they have had suicidal thoughts themselves and are actively frightened by their own thoughts.

Suicidality is a thought or state of being that the vast majority of us entertain at least once in our lifetime. Thankfully, few of us make attempts, and fewer still are successful. Believe me, there are far better solutions than anyone losing their life. And how can I be so sure?

Well, I’ve made two attempts. The first landed me on a psych ward with no lasting physical harm; the second was not so benign – I was in the hospital for several days while my liver and I recuperated. (As an aside, my second husband told me what a pathetic attempt my first try was; I wasn’t trying to be “pathetic” – I just wanted to die – luckily, neither attempt was lethal.)

As you might be able to tell, I haven’t always had (or recognized that I had) the greatest cheering section. So, what did I do when I lacked people in my life? I depended on my dogs and horses to pull me through a great number of years. When I started to learn to trust people, I placed my trust in my therapist, Kay. (Incidentally, I will have seen her for 24 years in August – other than my family, she is the longest trusting relationship I have ever had.)

I will say that forging a relationship with Kay gave me my best chance at being able to trust others – she has essentially been my “trust springboard.” In learning to trust her, the tracks were laid by which to trust others. This led to my relationship with my bestie, Todd. Todd is an amazing human being, and I count myself lucky to have him as a best friend. No one could be luckier!!

Now, my best friendship wasn’t instantaneous with Todd, but it was always warm and cordial. Once I let myself trust Todd, I realized that there was a whole world out there – a world of people who deserve to be trusted (to greater and lesser degrees). I have Todd to thank for my many friendships; without him, I might never have learned the value of risking friendships with others. Friendships are inherently difficult but oh-so worth it. So, thank you, Kay, and thank you, Todd. And do yourself a favor – try trusting someone, whether that is a friend, a family member, or a therapist. The world of relationships can be a pretty incredible place if you give it a chance.