So, occasionally I’m asked if I wish I could go back and not gotten sick in the first place and why I don’t complain about having a mental illness. Treating the aforementioned questions in turn, let’s start with the first one: if I could, would I go back and wipe the slate clean of mental illness? What a stupid question! Nobody wants a mental illness (or in my case, three). I can’t change the fact I suffer from mental illness, so what’s the point of that question??
That said, my mental illness has taught me SO much. I am kinder, gentler, and overall, just a better person than before my illness. Why? First of all, when I look back, I see someone who I don’t altogether like. I am grateful that I have had a second chance in this arena.
As for the second, only rarely do I complain about having a mental illness. Why? First, it’s pointless, and second, anything that pokes the Beast is bound to go sideways – and can result in severe suicidality. It’s no joke.
I can’t change my diagnosis or the fact I’m sick, much like one gets over the common cold. I can’t change the illnesses I have, but I CAN keep them from defining my life. Part of this requires a thick skin – the good news is anyone can achieve this. Developing the ability to at least relegate people’s idiotic questions to the very back of my mind, or better yet, toss them in the mental dumpster. That is, as you can imagine easier said than done, I know, but it can be a long-term goal). And, it is key in keeping your mind safe from the Beast that thrives on uncertainty and doubt.
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